黒い人生、わたし。。。

I haven’t talked about myself in a long time, so here my view on life…
 
 
 
I am not sure if this will ever happens but I personally think it’s very likely and if it happens I don’t think I have any regret that it does, but just want to make sure some of you know what going to happens when it does.
 
Thanks to some personal issue, my mood for this week have sink to some of the lowest point in months. But than when we I in good mood? Anyhow, what I mean is that I am not a positive person, although I believes that over the years I have been successful in fooling my friend and family that I am. But if you read my blog you should definitely have some sense that I don’t hold alot of hope for the future or life itself.
 
So peoples will seek help, cause they know it’s bad. But I wouldn’t cause I don’t see death as something to be afraid cause some day we will all die. It’s just a matter of when and how. So the idea to end my own life early have always floated in my mind for years and I think some of my friend knows it too. If some one ask me what I want to die, I don’t think I can give them a answer. Instead, I am going to respond, why I want to live? An example would be if I ever get a fatal sickness that can be cure, I doubt I will accept the cure…  instead I think I will just let it kill me. I may not have the courage to kill myself but if given a chance to end it, I think I will take it.
 
This feelings and idea isn’t something that can be changed, it’s something that been with me for a long time. It’s just that I have been able to sub-press it for years. But as time go on, I do believes that some day it will over power me. I don’t know when, it could be soon or it could be never… but I just want to say if some days you noticed this blog have not been updated for a while and for no reason than this is most likely the reason.
 
 
And let’s hope there’s no after life, I personally can’t stand the though of living forever even as a spirit.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: